Everything in this sad, sad tale is true, and it’s about teenage sex so expect some graphic content and don’t eat before reading. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

“Can I feel your tits?”. Not the greatest chat-up line, admittedly, but as a young lad growing up in Blackpool in the early 80s it became a standard greeting when faced with tourist girls. It worked once. Just once, and it cost me my virginity.

‘Her name was Lola’ but, unlike the girl in the Copa Cabana, she wasn’t a showgirl, she ...


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