Ian-Watson.com

Sisters with neices and nephews came for the weekend! Now you know why they call me 'Uncle Grumpy bollocks!'

A man is so in love that he feels pity for the poor fool who just happens to brush past his beauty in the street. He notices the passing glance of admiration the stranger gives to his love.

This is a personal favoutite of mine. Do you recall "The Lion and Albert" by Marriott Edgar? No, well don't worry about it. It's set in Blackpool, my home town, and I was brought up on my dear old Dad reciting it on many a drunken evening in the pub.

I decided to put that rhyming style into this piece but with a dark twist based on the propensity for mindless violence that your basic Saturday night in town can bring come chucking out time.

Just to make things harder for myself I decided to couple BOTH sets of lines in each verse as opposed to just the first and third like Marriott did. It was a challenge but I love the result.

This was a 50 word excercise and is based on a true story. When I lived in Wales there was this lonely guy who would stand against the wall of the off licence with a bag of cans at his feet every Saturday night. He was mentally imbalanced but harmless so he was left alone. The story goes that his only ever date never showed up to accompany him to a school party and he's been waiting ever since- convinced that it wasn't a cruel joke and she's just been delayed or got the wrong Saturday night maybe, but it's been many years and still he waits.

It's a bit rude but what can I tell you? I'm a man and I love breasts so why not put some words together that give a sense of their shape and meaning? This one is very word heavy and hopefully gets you a little tongue tied and 'in the moment'.

 When it's about to hit the skids there's little you can do but fret a bit and feel bitter... we've all been there and, as I can now verify, there's always something much better waiting round the next corner so don't feel too bad for me, life's unbelievably good now! Wayhey!

Another song, a bit schmaltsy but that's what a good ballad should be I think.